


eyes open in ecstasy

by orphan_account



Category: SECHSKIES (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 21:12:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13667391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sunghoon fell in love. Jaejin is hesitant.





	eyes open in ecstasy

Sunghoon doesn't see you as just his manager. It makes your head spin -- the way he talks about you, the way he looks at you.

His sweaty palm is gripping onto yours. There’s a small smile playing on his lips and you smell alcohol in his breath when he moves closer. He rests his head on your shoulder.

You want to laugh. Everything he does makes you mad. He’s so caring it pisses you off. (You don't like dealing with your feelings. Sunghoon’s too nice to leave him hanging though.)

"I’m tired, drive me home, Jaejin," he mumbles.

So you do. You drive as he naps and you feel bad for having to wake him up when you arrive. You hesitate but do it anyway -- he wakes up and smiles when he sees it's you waking him up. (You panic. you don't know what to do. You haven't known what to do ever since he kissed you for the first time.)

You walk with him to the door. "It’s late. Why don't you stay?" he asks you, hoping,  _longing,_ for you to spend the night with him.

You shake your head. "Don’t worry. Get some rest." you turn around to leave and he grabs your wrist.

"Won’t you give me a good bye kiss?" He’s anticipating and there’s hesitation on your part. You can't breathe as you wonder how much of this he's going to remember tomorrow.

You kiss him. It’s a stupid idea but you do it because you want to. It doesn't last for long yet it feels like hours pass before you move away.

"Sleep well, Jaejin."

As you watch him close the door, you ask yourself why you keep letting this happen. For those few seconds you let yourself enjoy feel _good._

_(What are you scared of? Why aren’t you enjoying it?)_

Sunghoon is famous. You can’t let anything ruin it. It’s your responsibility to handle his activities. You think of the worst things that could happen if you let your guard down. You can’t handle the thought of _it_ being your fault. Him getting outed because of you is your worst nightmare.

It freaks you out. You’re stressed out and the truth is, you’re also a coward. You’re scared that if you let yourself fall in love, he’ll change he’s mind, that he won’t like you anymore. You give it up before it even starts.

Sunghoon deserves the best. The best fans, guesting on the best shows, the best boyfriend and that’s not you. He’s lonely and you get it. You are too.

You both knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

When you spend night with him in his bed, he holds you so tightly you can’t breathe and you can’t sleep either. Usually, you leave before he wakes up. Words never seem to come out when he’s around you. He wakes up one night, seeing you get ready to leave. You think you’re going to die.

“Please, don’t go,” he says, sounding exhausted and there’s a knot in your throat.

You don’t go. You never stay over again though.


End file.
